Friday, January 8, 2010

Fuck it Friday's!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, so here is the first post of the Fuck It Friday's. This is just my weekly rant about all the things that have rubbed me the wrong way during the week. I will give a disclaimer however, if you have a weak stomach, don't like opinionated individuals or disapprove of a foul mouth than this is not the post for you. I'm just fucking with you, if you don't like foul mouths I apologize. It is just my opinion that they enhance a sentence but hey, you know what opinions are like and they all stink so whatever. Read at your own risk and feel free to leave me some saucy comments :) Here goes.

95% of this week I have felt like shit! I have had headache after headache, a sore throat, a very unattractive cough and have blown out and coughed up some of what I think has to be the nastiest shit on the planet. At the same time this is going on, I have to care for my two wild animals, AKA children. As if I didn't feel shitty enough I had these two going at it like they were battling it out in the UFC octagon just minus a little blood. They know just how to piss me off at the most inopportune times. But hey its all part of the experience right? I love those two little turds :)

To top all of that, I lost my drivers license which I addressed in a previous post and I had the joy of going to the DMV this morning. That my friends is a cesspool of disgusting right there. I woke up feeling like shit but I at least put forth some effort to make myself look presentable, did others? Fuck no! I don't understand how people can go out in public looking like they just climbed out of a damn dumpster. Its called a mirror people!! Just sayin... Also to add to that, please people please, take your midgets to the doctor if they are sick. Maybe buy an antibiotic or two, and if you insist on taking the poor little things out in public, WIPE THEIR DAMN NOSES!!!! They walk around smearing snot on anything that will sit still and we wonder why the Swine flu spread across the planet so fucking fast!

I also got another bonus today, I got the extra pleasure of going to the good ole Social Security office to get myself a new social security card because for some strange reason I fucked around for three years and didn't change my last name after I got hitched. Yeah I said it, three years. Don't judge me I know I'm an R-Tard. Again I sat for over 45 minutes in a germ infested room just applying the hand sanitizer and thinking to myself, shit I just started to feel a little better and look where the hell I'm sitting right now. Smart idea? I think not. And a little shout out to the chubby lady who took advantage of my stupidity and directed me to the wrong window so she could snag the number before me. My hat is off to you chubby lady. Well played ma'am, well played. I shall not be fooled by that type of trickery again. I should have known she was up to no good. She just looked sketchy to me.

And last but not least.
Fuck you traffic!!!!!!!!
I took my kids to Grapevine Mills Mall this evening to meet Keith Brooking who plays for the Dallas Cowboy's and get his autograph and I got stuck in the shittiest traffic jam ever. Not once, not twice, even three times. FOUR damn times!!! I hate Grapevine and I hate the Mid Cities. Why any semi-intelligent person would choose to live or work in this area is beyond me. It fucking sucks. You could drive through the mid cities at two o'clock in the damn morning and you can damn well bet that you are going to sit in fucking traffic for 45 minutes. And I'm not being dramatic, that's the damn truth.

Oh yeah I forgot one thing,
For all of you turds out there that got tickets to the playoff game at Cowboy's stadium tomorrow,
Fuck You!!!! I'm jealous and I don't mind saying so. God saving for a cruise sucks!!!!

Until next time.....


April (Mama is on the Potty) said...

OMFG! I am so laughing at your shitty day. Sorry, but not really! ITA with all of it. 100%.
Do you have a Fuck it Friday button? Can I jump on the Friday bandwagon? I might end up with some Fuck Yous for good measure.

Great post. Come check me out.

Brittney said...

Awesome post... im cracking up about the lil chubby lady!!

Hope next week goes a little better, yet i hope the fuck yous are just as funny!

Brittney said...

well I didnt have a F it friday but Saturday is a whole 'nother story!! lol so I did a F-it saturday type thing! check it out