Friday, February 19, 2010

Friday Confessional

Its Friday and time to confess some of the unecessary shit that I have since last confession. Go visit Glamazons blog, grab her snazzy button and play along. Time to confess and ask for forgiveness ladies :) Here it goes.....

  • I procrastinated on printing out our cruise documents and by the time I logged on to do it, they had locked the booking and I couldnt print them out. Mother Fucker!
  • I packed about 20 items of clothing to much.
  • I didnt get half the things done today that I wanted to. Well shit!

thats about it lol.

Bon Voyage turds!!!

Until next Friday......

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Countdown to cruise time baby!!

So I leave for my cruise Saturday morning and I must admit that I am so fucking excited!!! Gone for six days on a lovely cruise ship. Viva la Mexico!!! It just cant get here soon enough but I have so much shit to do and not enough time to do all the shit. I still have to finish packing and do the final check to make sure that I haven't forgotten anything which I most likely will fucking do. But I know I will so I accept it and I'm prepared. I bought the dressofawesome that I previously posted about and it is just that, Absofuckinglutely oozing with awesome. When I wear it I feel as if I could shit diamonds people. Yeah, its that badass. If you don't have some sort of a dazzling dress, buy one! Don't think about it, just buy one. After this cruise I'm gonna get my monies worth and clean house in it like the fabulous bitch that I am, or more realistically feel like in the dressofawesome. Fucking, eh!
I also must make sure that everything is in order for my kiddos for the week which is a job on its own. I must admit I am going to miss the little shits while I am gone. I am fairly certain that when I return home it will be trashed and look as if it should be condemned. So that will make all those warm and fuzzy feelings go right in the shitter when I see what I will be cleaning up the next day. This goes back to me previously stating that they are absofuckinglutelynuts. If they attempt the crazy shit that they do when I am home I don't even want to imagine the crazy shit that will go on when I am gone for six days. I cant even fucking imagine. It is probably best for my sanity if I don't try to imagine it. Then you add the new puppy into the mix with it and that my friends is a recipe for disaster of epic proportions. I just hope that I come back to my home in one piece. Say many prayers for me blogging buddies. I'm gonna need them.
On a side note I found a super lady on MBC that's going to revamp this here blog. Its gonna look fanfuckingtastic when shes done. Not 100% sure what I want exactly but it is sure to be fabulous at the very least. So Ive got that going for me :)

Until next time.....

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Im so excited today!

Brittney over at Mommywood nominated me for the Beautiful Blogger Award. It feels so nice to receive it so thank you Snooks ;). You can grab her button at the right of my page. Her blog is a delight to read everyday so give her visit. You wont be sorry :)

Ok, heres how the award works....

1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
2. Copy the award and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4. Share 7 interesting things about yourself.
5. Nominate 7 additional beautiful bloggers.

Alright so 7 interesting things about me.

  • I love to read and write. They are my outlet and a great source of R&R.

  • I love music and all kinds. Give me something with a great beat and I will shake it lol.

  • Im an animal lover to a fault. I will try and save anything with fur. I worked at an emergency animal hospital for a long time and it was truly the best time of my life. It was a very rewarding job. I brought home so many creatures home to nurse to health. My hubby hated it lol.

  • I am addicted to buying shoes, handbags and bras and panties. Seriously I need a support group for this. You can never pass up a cute pair of shoes or bra :)

  • I have a tendency to speak my mind a little too often. Some consider it a good thing. Some not.

  • I love reality T.V. I know I know its stupid but I cant help it.

  • I love this blog and all of the great people who follow it and leave me such amazing comments. Thank you fellow bloggers :) You rock my face off!!

And now here are 7 beautiful bloggers that rock my world. I love reading their posts and always enjoy them. Hope you enjoy too :)








Life from a pups perspective.....

Well I don't even know where to start here. In the past 24 hours my life has changed dramatically and I don't care for it too much. The humans I forced myself to tolerate for the past six weeks are nowhere to be found and some other human lady took me so I'm just confused. I think she stole me and I'm not sure how I am going to get back home. She had me in this mobile device for what seemed like an eternity yesterday and as she made her getaway and crossed the Arkansas state line she made these horrible noises and movements to other loud noises that blared from the mobile device. If she only knew how silly she looked. There was also a smaller human in the back who never shut up. I have a feeling shes going to be a problem. The human stopped somewhere and got some sort of food which smelled great and I really just wanted her to give me a bite but she wouldn't. She kept telling me it would hurt my tummy. Man if she only knew some of the things that I have eaten. It smelled so good, I think this was some sort of torture tactic. She abducted me and is torturing me now but I just don't know what kind of information she is wanting to get out of me. I don't know anything. Maybe when she figures this out she will release me. God I can only hope!

She stopped a few times and gave good effort to get me to pee but I didn't comply. I got her back for the torture incident earlier in the day and peed in her cup holder. She didn't seem to like this at all. I tried to sleep so I could pass some time but the smaller human in the back made that almost impossible due to all the noise she makes. Again, shes gonna be a problem. We finally arrived at our destination and she took me inside. I was pretty terrified due to all the torture I endured on the way here. I was sure there was something worse waiting for me inside. As soon as we walked in my fears went away for a minute at least and I peed on the floor. Again she didn't seem to like this so I will have to remember to do this frequently. Maybe if I do this enough she will release me. Its worth a shot at least. There were more humans there, one small and one big. They were males though so that eased my mind a little bit. They seemed to be nice enough. They petted me and kissed me, ALOT. They kept telling me how cute I was which I already knew. They fed me and gave me a nice bed to take a nap which was much needed.

When I woke up it was a little more pleasant but I was in search for my brothers and sisters also my mommy but they were nowhere to be found. This made me so sad so I cried alot. I miss them so much. The lady human took me outside to use the bathroom and I didn't want to give her a hard time for once so I obeyed and peed outside this time. She was happy. She likes to hug me alot which feels nice but god humans smell awful. And they say I need a bath, I think not! If they try this I will have to put up a pretty big fight. I met one of my kind at the humans home next door. It was a bitch named Chloe and she seemed pretty nice. She told me her human was nice and that she was also stolen so there seems to be a pattern of this around here. Back in the house everything is really nice but so big. I cant find my way around this place without getting tired and having to take a break. Its going to take days to search the whole place but there is one spot I am going to stay away from. The human said they are stairs but I think they might take me into another dimension if I travel up them so I might wait on that.

It was bedtime for the humans but not for me. I made sure that I made alot of noise so they would stay awake and not leave me. Finally the lady let me lay in something very warm and inviting which she called a bed. It was ALOT bigger and nicer than mine. She let me snuggle with her. She might not be so bad after all. I will keep you all updated on how this plays out. I still don't trust her yet :) Also on a side note, the male human snores louder than I do.


Chuy aka little nugget
I don't know why the hell they call me this.

Saturday, February 13, 2010 be a princess

So today was a superfantastic day. I gave myself a pedicure with my wicked awesome foot spa and went shopping. But not just normal everyday shopping. I was in search of a magical dress for our cruise that I will add I am leaving for next Saturday :) We have a formal night and I was in need of a dress that would dazzle everyone and well to be honest...make me look hawt! Did I find this dress? Oh you bet your ass I did and only after trying on about 20 of them. I tried on that many mostly for the fun of it and so I could feel fabulous for a day. Not that I don't feel fabulous every other day but this is a different kind of fabulous. This is the feeling of pure magic as soon as I slid each dress over my head. When I looked in the mirror its like angels were singing and the more expensive they were the better they felt. Seriously! I could have just lived in them forever. I can clean and do laundry in a long dazzling gown....cant I? Ehh fuck it sure I can. So as soon as I slid on that last dress it was like magic. Its like it told me...." me...I make your ass look great...your boobs reach for the need me...". So there it dazzling dress. I just wanted to walk my fabulous ass right out of that store and into the mall for the world to see. Did I do it? hell no lol. But I thought about it. Ahhh to be a princess for a day.....
Until next time...

Friday, February 12, 2010

Friday Confessional

I had a good week so I didn't have much to rant about in Fuck it Friday so we are having a confessional tonight. Got this idea from Mommywood and Glamazon. You can grab their buttons on the top of my page. So get to it! Its confession time....

I stayed in my jammies for the better part of the past two days due to all the white shit that god coughed up yesterday.

I ate the last Oreo and lied to my kids about it.

I told my son and Nicholas I didn't care if they played Xbox live just so I could get on the computer and write in this here blog.

I bought an English bulldog puppy yesterday. He is precious and I cant wait to see the wrinkly little guy this week. He comes from the good ole state of Arkansas. I love him...HARD! Check him out in all his handsomeness :)

I have lived for nine o'clock all week just so I could get some rest and relaxation without the midgets running around like mental patients. Before I become a mental patient.

I told my three year old that her favorite cartoon wasn't on earlier so I could watch General Hospital on the DVR. I know, I'm a piece of shit. And if you are asking, yes I am ashamed of myself. Would I do it again? In a freaking heartbeat. I can only take so much Team Umizoomi and Fresh Beat Band in one day.

Me in all my Fucktard-ery left the carton of milk on the counter again for what must have been a couple of hours. It pisses me off to no end when I do this.

Now I know I didn't commit horrible acts-o-sin here but a confessions a confession. Right?

Fellow Twirds....

As some of you know, I am a Twird AKA a Twilight nerd. I just found out that New Moon is coming out on DVD in March!!!! And.......if that wasn't exciting enough for you, they are releasing an Ultimate Fan DVD. Due to the fact that I am an ultimate fan, I will be purchasing this. I love these movies.....HARD!!! I am like a teenage girl again when it comes to them, seriously. My 12 year old niece and I already have a date to see Eclipse when it comes out at midnight on June 20th for our birthdays. I cant fucking wait. I wish I could be put into a temporary coma until it comes out. Hmmm I should check into this. But anyhoo... I have already read all four books in the saga and I am about to have to start reading Eclipse again. You know, just to get ready for the movie. God I am such a dork. Later Twirds.
Until next time......

Thursday, February 11, 2010

What's with all this white shit??

I woke up this morning and was pleasantly surprised by how beautiful it was outside. Due to the fact that I live in the South AKA the pit of hell, I don't get the privilege of seeing snow very often so I was excited. By the time I woke up at 7am there was already a couple of inches on the ground and it was still coming down. The drive to my sons school just a couple of blocks away was pretty entertaining and even more so when I picked him up from school. By evening time there was easily over 5 inches of snow outside. I have never seen this much snow in one day in all my 29 years. It truly is breathtaking and even more of a treat to see all of the kids in the neighborhood outside having snowball fights and making snowmen just so they can beat the shit out of them when they are done. This is something I have only seen in movies and on the news when there is snow in other parts of the US. Not Texas, EVER!! We went outside for a good hour and played in the snow and took lots of pictures because you never know when this is going to happen again. I was so excited to experience all the snow today that I decided to share some of our fun with all of you.. Enjoy :)

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Post it up Tuesday!!!

So this is the first time doing this here and I got the idea from Snooks AKA Brittney ;) at Mommywood. Its a super cute idea and nothing but randomness but thats the fun part. You should scoop up Supahmommys button at the top of my page. Trust me, its worth it.

I give Post it Note Tuesday...

Three fist pumps!! For those of you out there who dont get that, tune in to MTV's Jersey Shore. Pure entertainment.

That is all.....

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Holy Hell the Saints won!!!!!

My excitement level is pretty high at the moment fellow bloggers. Drew Brees and the Saints played a balsy game-o-football tonight. I wasnt even remotely interested in the Superbowl since my beloved Cowboys weren't partaking in the Superbowl fun but I sure am happy for Drew and the city of New Orleans. That is one of my favorite places to visit during February and I bet it is all kinds of crazy there tonight. This is their first Superbowl title so that is pretty freaking awesome! I like Peyton Manning but the Saints win was well deserved. Who Dat!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Fuck it Friday!!!!!

Its that time again blogging world.....oh yes it is. Time for me to let all my fuck its that I have held in out for the week. Oh how I long for this day. I can happily say that lately I haven't had too many "fuck it" moments but this week is deserving of a few I guess. So here goes.....
First on my list for the week is the lovely lady at the tanning salon who is solely responsible for the burning of my flesh. Yes lady you know who you are. My one request from now on is....if you are responsible for managing contraptions that "tan" ones skin, please "manage" said contraptions responsibly and bitch about your horrible Wal-Mart haircut on your own time. If I wasn't the sweet person that I am, and I laugh while saying that. I would kick your ass for letting me "tan" in such an extreme way the other day. I am still in pain due to this small oversight on your part. So fuck you tanning lady! Just sayin........
Second on my list is Discount Tire for putting the wrong tires on my transportation device. I went to a lovely establishment called Goodyear yesterday and they inspected my car and checked to see where the horribly annoying vibration was coming from on my Cadi. Well... apparently Discount Tire put the wrong damn tires on my car which is causing a vibration now I need new tires and my front end aligned. So....what do I do you ask? I called discount tire while at Goodyear and ask them, hey! What up with that? And the little shit who quite frankly in my opinion should never be allowed to converse with the public while at work tells me.. "well ma'am, it doesn't matter what "kind" of tire you have on your car it only matters what size the tire is. The brand wont make it vibrate". Are you fucking kidding me??? I know that!!! Just because I have a vagina doesn't mean I don't understand the concept of brand vs size you little asshole. I continued to "nicely" tell him...."I don't give a shit what brand of tire you put on my car all I am concerned with is the fact that you put the incorrect speed rating on my car. You should have been a 98H and you put a 97T on it! " Little bit of a difference wouldn't you say? And what does he tell me? "Oh... I wasn't aware that you would know what that was ma'am". I swear to everything holy if I could have kicked his ass with my mind I would have done it at that moment and not given it a second thought. So conclusion to that story is....I get new tires for free and I bet that little shithead never underestimates the mind of a woman again :)
Third on my list is the little round hispanic lady at the Redbox rental Tuesday night. Let me set the scene for you.... There are two Redbox contraptions next to one another, little round hispanic lady is working over one of them with two of her midgets next to her and another one of her midgets is working over the other one all while three people are waiting to return DVD's, myself being one of them. We are all trying our best to wait patiently while they mess with these things and spout out many things in a language I do not understand. Not once does this lady tell her kid to leave the contraption alone and let other people use it since he is just touching the screen with an obvious randomness with his greasy little mitts. This is a huge problem for me in itself due to my germaphobia issues. So what do I do while I am standing there like a retard? I check the time on my cellular device to start counting how long this shit would go on. Are you ready for this?? NINE minutes!!!!! The machine she was using crapped out 3 movies for her and she probably doesn't even know what she rented and when she was done the little turd working over the other one just walks off right along with her. Did she say oh I'm sorry? Of course not. Blatant disrespect for other people just irritates the shit out of me. So there is nine minutes of my life that I will never get back. I'm going on 30 and that little shit has a long life of working over Redbox contraptions left ahead of him. A little unjust don't you think?

And last but certainly not least...... To kids. Kids who bicker and argue over stupid shit that will never amount to anything. I.E. who likes the color purple more. Yes this was a 20 minute argument in my home three days ago that led to assault on one child from another. There is nothing in me that understands why a disagreement about the color purple could end in assault. Also, who loves the cartoon Max and Ruby more. Again.... resulted in assault and mom one step closer to weaving baskets in the nuthouse. What did I say to them regarding the cartoon incident? "Who gives a shit which one of you likes it more than the other?" It is broadcast for everyone to enjoy not just one of you so shut it and quit arguing about stupid shit". Also to my little angel Madeline who was banned from using a fork for one meal. Yes I said it! I took her fork away from her. Did I mention that it was the THIRD one that I bestowed her with during said meal? Yeah...apparently the first two forks I gave her were not to her liking so she bitched about every damn one of them til finally I said "OK if you don't like any of these forks you can try and use your hand and see how that works out for you". Did she bitch about the fork I gave her after that? Absolutely not. HA! That's one victory for mom!
Wrap up for the week....
I'm burnt
Discount Tire hires of which I owe an ass kicking to
Little hispanic ladies have no respect for others precious time
And my kids are absofuckinglutely nuts!
Until next time.....

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Lobster anyone?

So I am going on a Cruise on February 20th to Mexico and I have been tanning for a couple of weeks now to "prepare" to look hotter for my trip lol. Well last night I went to tan and they sent me to a "super" bed, which I did not know was a "super" bed until after I was done. The lovely lady at the tanning salon was so caught up in her conversation with another lady there that she set the timer for 20 minutes in said super bed instead of the 15 that I jotted down on the sign in sheet. There lies her first mistake, second one was not informing me that it was a "super" bed.
So here goes......I got in and got comfy as I normally do and continued to drift off to sleep, yeah it was a tiring day. I then awoke to the loud noise as the contraption shut off, and it was then that I already felt the tingling sensation that would later be my burnt flesh. I got out and as I saw myself I thought, oh shit! This might not be good because I was a little red which I never get. I have always tanned very well so I thought that was odd. As I was leaving the lady at the desk said "did you like that bed Hun?" I then said to her "well yeah I guess but you set the timer for an extra five minutes so my ass probably isn't going to appreciate that later". She just laughed like I had told her a funny joke or something but I was serious.
Today, my ass as well as every other part of my body most definitely does not appreciate it. I look like a damn lobster!! And I hurt just as bad. I have never gotten so red in a tanning bed before in my life. So....note to self, do not go in bed 11 ever again and always check that the
R-Tard that works the desk sets the timer for the time that YOU put on the sign in sheet! Well that is all for now. Me and my burnt ass are going to pout now.
Until next time......

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Kitchen Crazy...... has been a while since my last post. Sorry :( I have been sick, my son has been sick. So it has been a little nuts around my casa. I am still in the process of deciding on the color scheme for my kitchen. I have decided on the cabinets but not the countertops and flooring. Thats a whole nother ballgame right there. As if that was not enough, I am getting hardwood floors put in our family/kids playroom. Lots of construction in my future. I have gotten alot of comments regarding the kitchen so yes, I will definetely post some before and after pictures so I can get some feedback from all of you. Unfortunately this is a short post today but I will try to post my F*** it Friday this week.
Until next time....