Wednesday, July 31, 2013

What I've been doing.....

As you can see from my title, this one is gonna be interesting. My last few posts have started with the same thing.......
I haven't posted in a while, I've been busy....yada yada yada. Well I haven't posted in a while for no good reason, and it pisses me off because I like doing it. I have just either A. Not had anything meaningful to say or B. If I choose to spew forth the things that have went on in my life the past few months Ill most definitely regret it. The past 6 or 7 months have been the most difficult for my family. We have suffered loss, family conflict and if those aren't bad enough, even more has gone on. 2013 has started off shitty and isn't getting better any time soon from what I can see.

I'm still doing the same things I was before. My kids are still absofuckinglutely crazy, I still cuss. A LOT and I still need a vacation, to win the lottery and to lose weight and not necessarily in that order. In an ideal world Id lose weight, win the lottery and then go on a LONG vacation with that hot husband of mine. I also need to do a lot of other things but.....yeah. So since I last posted here this most amazing, helpful, spectacular waste of fucking time called Pinterest has blown up. Every woman and their dog has one of these damn things including myself. It'll teach you how to cook like a world renowned chef, make your own baby food, make yourself look like a supermodel, build a tree house out of paper mache, sew a ball gown, puke glitter and shit a rainbow all in one neat little place. Basically....we are hoarders. We pin shit about losing weight, getting a awesome Brazilian butt and every ECard known to man. We never end up losing weight, baking shit or parenting any better than we already manage to. We just end up collecting all this shit and posting it to Facebook to get a laugh. It is a HUGE waste of time. I say Im going to bed then Ill sit on Pinterest for two hours pinning shit Ill never do. Then I wake up late, feel like rubbish and don't feel like doing any of the crap I pinned. See.....HUGE waste of time.
Basically that's what I have been up to. Chaos, turmoil, cussing and hoarding. 
Until next time.....

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

How is a person supposed to think let alone create with the non stop banging!!!!!

  To explain my weird ass post title, I am having my roof replaced and the noise is about to drive me more crazy than I already am. My yard looks like a fucking tornado zipped through it and there's about one guy short of making a new Menudo group on my roof. Lord I will be glad when this is done today. I haven't posted on here since June and it seems like a year ago. I have been in a funk and feeling less than inspired to spew any of my normal bullshit so I decided to take a break from the blogging world. I finally decided to drag my ass to the computer and catch up on all the blogs I follow and make an attempt at completing a new post. I am in all my boring, self wallowing, bitchy glory. Whoopedy doo.

  So my summer was extremely uneventful as if I thought it would not be. I spent my days refereeing my heathens, cleaning up after them and feeding their faces day in and day out. I never realized how much these damn kids can consume in a 24 hour period. Its absolutely astounding. I'm quite surprised that they aren't as big around as they are tall, very surprised. It was these past few months of being home 24/7 with the heathens that made it crystal clear as to why I got the surgery to ensure that I would not spew forth any more children from my girly bits. I have been depressed about it for over three years and it only took three short months to make me feel great about the decision to do it. Babies are so sweet but toddlers and elementary aged children are definitely not! Especially when they try to kill each other on a daily basis. Oh how I long for the times before they could walk and talk.

  As if the two small crazy people already living in our house weren't enough, we now we have a three month old Blue and Gold Macaw named Nico. He is learning to talk and is quite the little character. He hears me tell the kids no so often that he has picked that up as well. He can say six words already and I was informed that he can learn up to 300-400. I cant even begin to imagine what he is going to learn in this house. He is going to be a feathered cussing machine. He is very mischievous and gets into trouble on the reg. My husband has him so spoiled already. God hes such a little shit.

Now on to more boring topics. As I stated above I have been in a wicked nasty funk lately. I don't know why or where the fuck it came from. It just appeared and I do not like. I just have no motivation to do shit period. I mean I used to get up and fix my hair, put on something cute in attempts to look moderately hot which I achieved quite well. Now I'm just in a state of don't give a shit. My hair doesn't sway freely it stays in a pony tail and to be honest, I look a hot mess and it sucks ass. If I am aware of it I'm sure my husband is none too pleased as well. I mean I probably would be a little taken aback if he was to walk around everyday looking like a walking pile of shit. So I don't fault him for it.

I have decided that I am starting to feel suffocated sitting at home all the time. Normal people would just take a girls night out or something like that but I am at a point in my life where the number of girl friends that I have is almost non existent. I don't know about anyone else but I feel as if I am completely losing myself. I'm a wife and mom but there's no me anymore. Beyond taking heathen #1 to school and back, caring for heathen #2 all day, going to the grocery store, cooking and housework I have no life in regards to myself anymore and it finally hit me and it is absofuckinglutely sucky. The even shittier part about it is, theres not a damn thing I can do about it. On one hand I feel half empty because of it and on the other hand I feel like a selfish pos for thinking that my children aren't enough to keep me happy, fulfilled or however you might explain that. I love staying home with my kids but I also enjoy talking to people, socializing etc. I was born that way and know no different. It is in my make up and for me not to be able to express myself or have a little fun now and then is quite foreign to a person with my personality type. I can go a whole week without talking to a single person other than my husband, kids and father in law. Yeah its that bad. I now talk to the damn bird and surprisingly enough he talks back.

My only me joy, not mom or wife joy is after the kids go to bed and I get to watch whatever bullshit I have recorded on the DVR. Sounds pretty pathetic huh? Well it feels even more pathetic. And to make all things more shitty....The Cowboys have been losing! That also makes me a feel like a walking pile of shit. I hate when they disappoint me. I am super excited that the Rangers have been kicking the shit out of the Yankees though. That we all should be thankful for.

What a light and lovely post today huh?
Until next time :)

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Being a mother

  I have not been posting near as often as I used to and it is a little upsetting since I get so much joy from it. However one thing that I get indescribable amounts of joy from is my children and last night as I was putting my three year old to bed it hit me like a ton of bricks, she has grown up so much and so fast that I didn't even realize it. It truly hit me that my children are growing up. My son is going to second grade next year and is HUGE and every time I try to remember him as a baby it seems as if the memories move farther and farther away from me. When I stop and think about my children and when they were born it shoots a paralyzing amount of pain through me because those are times I can never get back. Times that were absolutely the most dear to me that I wish I could relive them a billion times over. I never in my life imagined that loving someone could be so painful. Not painful in a bad way but a good pain. Like the feeling that your heart is so full it could burst. Yeah, that kind of pain.

 When I think about the memories that are most precious to me I think of the first time I saw an ultrasound picture of my babies and how excited I was to meet them and thinking how wonderful they were going to be and to feel them grow was such an amazing feeling. There has never been a moment in my life that has left a mark on my heart like the feeling I had when my husband handed me our babies for the first time or the first night at home with them by myself and just remembering looking at them for hours with the most permanent smile on my face or touching their baby soft skin or the smell, the smell of a newborn is forever etched in my brain. Hearing the first cries and the first outing to show them off to anyone that would look. And the horrible fear that pulsated through me every time they were sick or rushed to an emergency room. The frightening panic and anger that ran through me as I lashed out at the person who caused my child pain and a terrifying ambulance ride after an avoidable car crash just because he wanted to drive fast. The feeling of loss of control of the situation and not knowing if the most precious part of my life was going to be OK. And wanting to cause unspeakable amounts of pain to the person responsible if something had happened. At that moment you realize that your child is the most precious thing on this planet and you will happily do anything to protect them with every part of you. That is a mother. Being a mother is the most difficult and fulfilling job there is, Period! They test us, push us to our limits of insanity, wow us and fill our hearts with unmeasured amounts of love and joy.

 When I became a mother it made me realize why my mother would be in hysterics when I would arrive home late after curfew or didn't call when I was out. At the time I didn't understand what the big deal was but I realize it was because the one thing that she was designed to protect was out of sight and nowhere to be found until I pranced my jolly ass in the front door and in shock as to why I would be in such trouble. She was never mad, just worried and what I mistook as anger was in one word....fear. Sorry mom, I understand now :)

 Mothers Day is almost here and it is a day that I really enjoy. Not just for myself but for my mother, grandmothers and every other mother out there. As I think about how fast the time is passing it makes me realize how precious time really is. How we only get such a small amount of it with these special little people and most of the time we take it for granted. Our daily struggles, stress, work, money and relationships always seem to find a way of pulling us away from what is truly the most important things that life has given us. Not the 9-5 jobs we hurry to everyday, the money that we fight over and all the other really non important things that have become so important to us all. I realized that every time I tell the kids I'm too busy to play or read a book or go to the park that I am wasting precious time. Time that I will NEVER get back and neither will my children. Things that are non important to us, mean the world to our children and always will. 

   I will never have to question why I was put on this earth because the moment I became a mom to my children I knew why I was here. To raise, love and cherish two of the most beautiful people ever created. They love us unconditionally with all of our faults no matter how big they are and all they want in return, is the same. For some reason I was picked to be the mom to two of the most amazing kids and going forward I make the choice not to waste any more time and I hope none of you do either. I hope all of you have a wonderful mothers day. I know I will :)

Until next time.......

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Wow what a weekend!

Well I had quite the busy weekend people. I got myself tattooed on Friday night and had a really fun time with friends Saturday night. And boy did I regret Saturday nights festivities early Sunday morning. I probably will regret spilling the beans about my shenanigans later but come along on this journey with me anyway.......We went to a bar with some friends to hang out and have a few drinks and those Lemon drop shots juts kept a callin my name. And I answered, a few too many times. I normally have a strict policy of a two to three drink maximum if we go out as to make sure that I conduct myself in a ladylike manner which has worked well for me for many years but I ignored said policy Saturday night, which I deeply regret. I did not act like an ass or embarrass myself while out mingling with the public folk. I waited to do so until I got home at 1:30 in the am. I was OK leaving our place of fun and even in my transportation device on the way home, which by the way I was not operating. But as soon as I passed the threshold of my front door........I bolted to the ladies room like I had a rocket strapped to my ass. And I puked....HARD! and alot. Basically until 3am when I finally decided to Crawl up my stairs into my other bathroom then on to the what I called the ginormous place of sleep or bed if you will. Now during the puke fest my 19 year old brother and almost 13 year old niece were in absolute hysterics during my painful ordeal. I did not care for this at all and I do vaguely remember telling my brother that I hated him as well as the puppy. Why I did this I have no clue and on my journey up the stairs I informed everyone that my boobs were cold. Why? I have no clue as to this either because I was completely clothed during all of this. My niece thought that was hilarious and I made sure to remind her that this is what would happen to her if she drinks so please learn from my indiscretion and don't ever do it. I was told the next day that I was telling everyone that I was never drinking again, that I was sorry about a million times and that I hated my friend Amy because she got me drunk, which she did not. Sorry Amy :) I am now very anxiously waiting to see the many pictures that were taken at the place of fun from Saturday. I don't remember taking half of them so there is no telling what is on that camera. Probably pretty scary but we shall see. My pain continued through Sunday and I was a lazy pathetic piece of crap the entire day. So basically an entire day gone down the shitter. So as of now I never want to drink again :)
Now Friday....I went and got my much awaited tattoo of greatness. My bestie Andrea and I made a pact to get a tattoo together which we DID NOT! Thank you Andrea. We had to get them separately. I got mine Friday and she got hers Sunday. I got this tattoo on the back of my neck which hurt like a bitch. Which to this day is still sore to the touch and I have a little difficulty moving my neck from left to right. It looks great though and I am very happy with it. Andrea, not so much. She hates hers because it didn't turn out like she had hoped and unfortunately it is pretty freaking permanent. So that sucks the big one. I'm happy though. Thank you Cody, the owner of Bonehead Tattoo in Fort Worth Tx on Hwy 80. You sir rock!
Well until next time.........

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Im moving to Mexico!

This was the lovely ship I took my journey on.

The Carnival Ecstasy. And yes it was pure Ecstasy :)

So I arrived home from my wicked awesome vacation and I must say that I had an amazing time. The weather in Mexico was beautiful, much better than it was here in Fort Worth from what I heard. It snowed here, he he. I managed to get a tan and a little bit of a sunburn in Cozumel. People here have looked at me odd like "where the hell did you come from lady" you know, due to my golden goddess status. I missed my children but I did not want to come home. There was a small part of me that was hoping I wouldn't make the pass through customs. Eh well, I did and I'm home so fuck it. I have decided that I will be booking another cruise for this summer and I will be traveling somewhere different for this journey. I shall be going to Montego Bay Jamaica, Cayman Islands and Cozumel. Woo hoo! I'm counting the days until August. Tropical Paradise here I come!

So this vacation I went on.......I ate my weight in food on this cruise and by the time formal night got there, my dressofawesome was so awesomely snug. Yeah it was really uncomfortable but it still looked super cute though. It hurts to be pretty mama says, and so it did. Cozumel offered such amazing Pina Coladas and a many I drank. I went snorkeling, rode jet skis in the ocean, oh yeah and I was nearly crapping my bikini the whole time thinking I was going to fall off and get taken under by some sort of ocean life. Luckily for all of you :) I did not and it was a hell of a time. I also got the pleasure of riding a huge banana raft also in the middle of the ocean, you know like the one on that frightening scene in Jaws? Again my terror level was at a CODE BROWN. All I was thinking was "oh shit balls I'm gonna get eaten alive by a fucking shark!" I knew the odds of that happening were slim to none but frightening none the less. I rode a kayak, combed the beach for seashells for Maddie and took pictures under water of beautiful and colorful fishies. It was in one word, amazing.

The entertainment on the ship was hilarious. Everyone packed the Starlight lounge every night for Karaoke and not for the singing but Jay the Karaoke host. He was a hilariously gay Asian man. He was the reason I attended every night. The stand up comedians were also pretty damn funny as well. I also had a super time gambling in the casino. I have two new favorite card games, Three card poker and Caribbean Stud, noooo ladies I did not have fun with a Caribbean stud. Its just the name of the card game :) Also a shout out to the lovely little lady that took care of my room everyday who left me such cute little towel animals. You rock my face off!! And to Ilham my waiter every night, you sir can work a pole like none other. For all you dirty minds out there, he was quite the entertainer at dinner. Who would have thought your waiter would serve you bread, drinks and do a little racy dancing lol. Love ya Ilham. Well my midgets are running around like fools so I must cut this short.

Oh yeah and ladies.....this is what I got to travel with....Yes ma'am. This was my Caribbean stud :)

My stud to the right and my pal Mickis stud to the left, the Jeffster.

This is Micki after a "Few" Pina Coladas :)

I will add some more pictures when I get some free time. Until next time.......

Friday, February 19, 2010

Friday Confessional

Its Friday and time to confess some of the unecessary shit that I have since last confession. Go visit Glamazons blog, grab her snazzy button and play along. Time to confess and ask for forgiveness ladies :) Here it goes.....

  • I procrastinated on printing out our cruise documents and by the time I logged on to do it, they had locked the booking and I couldnt print them out. Mother Fucker!
  • I packed about 20 items of clothing to much.
  • I didnt get half the things done today that I wanted to. Well shit!

thats about it lol.

Bon Voyage turds!!!

Until next Friday......

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Countdown to cruise time baby!!

So I leave for my cruise Saturday morning and I must admit that I am so fucking excited!!! Gone for six days on a lovely cruise ship. Viva la Mexico!!! It just cant get here soon enough but I have so much shit to do and not enough time to do all the shit. I still have to finish packing and do the final check to make sure that I haven't forgotten anything which I most likely will fucking do. But I know I will so I accept it and I'm prepared. I bought the dressofawesome that I previously posted about and it is just that, Absofuckinglutely oozing with awesome. When I wear it I feel as if I could shit diamonds people. Yeah, its that badass. If you don't have some sort of a dazzling dress, buy one! Don't think about it, just buy one. After this cruise I'm gonna get my monies worth and clean house in it like the fabulous bitch that I am, or more realistically feel like in the dressofawesome. Fucking, eh!
I also must make sure that everything is in order for my kiddos for the week which is a job on its own. I must admit I am going to miss the little shits while I am gone. I am fairly certain that when I return home it will be trashed and look as if it should be condemned. So that will make all those warm and fuzzy feelings go right in the shitter when I see what I will be cleaning up the next day. This goes back to me previously stating that they are absofuckinglutelynuts. If they attempt the crazy shit that they do when I am home I don't even want to imagine the crazy shit that will go on when I am gone for six days. I cant even fucking imagine. It is probably best for my sanity if I don't try to imagine it. Then you add the new puppy into the mix with it and that my friends is a recipe for disaster of epic proportions. I just hope that I come back to my home in one piece. Say many prayers for me blogging buddies. I'm gonna need them.
On a side note I found a super lady on MBC that's going to revamp this here blog. Its gonna look fanfuckingtastic when shes done. Not 100% sure what I want exactly but it is sure to be fabulous at the very least. So Ive got that going for me :)

Until next time.....