Wednesday, July 31, 2013

What I've been doing.....

As you can see from my title, this one is gonna be interesting. My last few posts have started with the same thing.......
I haven't posted in a while, I've been busy....yada yada yada. Well I haven't posted in a while for no good reason, and it pisses me off because I like doing it. I have just either A. Not had anything meaningful to say or B. If I choose to spew forth the things that have went on in my life the past few months Ill most definitely regret it. The past 6 or 7 months have been the most difficult for my family. We have suffered loss, family conflict and if those aren't bad enough, even more has gone on. 2013 has started off shitty and isn't getting better any time soon from what I can see.

I'm still doing the same things I was before. My kids are still absofuckinglutely crazy, I still cuss. A LOT and I still need a vacation, to win the lottery and to lose weight and not necessarily in that order. In an ideal world Id lose weight, win the lottery and then go on a LONG vacation with that hot husband of mine. I also need to do a lot of other things but.....yeah. So since I last posted here this most amazing, helpful, spectacular waste of fucking time called Pinterest has blown up. Every woman and their dog has one of these damn things including myself. It'll teach you how to cook like a world renowned chef, make your own baby food, make yourself look like a supermodel, build a tree house out of paper mache, sew a ball gown, puke glitter and shit a rainbow all in one neat little place. Basically....we are hoarders. We pin shit about losing weight, getting a awesome Brazilian butt and every ECard known to man. We never end up losing weight, baking shit or parenting any better than we already manage to. We just end up collecting all this shit and posting it to Facebook to get a laugh. It is a HUGE waste of time. I say Im going to bed then Ill sit on Pinterest for two hours pinning shit Ill never do. Then I wake up late, feel like rubbish and don't feel like doing any of the crap I pinned. See.....HUGE waste of time.
Basically that's what I have been up to. Chaos, turmoil, cussing and hoarding. 
Until next time.....

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Busy busy busy!

I cant seem to get into the routine of blogging regularly like I used to. I enjoy it but never seem to find the time to do it anymore. Between chasing around two heathens, going to school full time and my new little side business I have started I am going non-stop. I have a new found respect for moms who do the juggling act. It is tough!
I also feel like I am not getting enough girl /me time as of late. I either need to 1. Be more exciting so people will be knocking down the door to do activities with me or 2. Get more friends. I hand around with kids WAY too much. When you can recite Justin Bieber songs word for word and you catch yourself watching Good Luck Charlie and A.N.T. farm on the Disney Channel when your kids arent in the NEED to get out more. Period!
School has started and the heathens are out of the house all day. I know, you are thinking partay time right? Wrong. During the day that is my time to study, and be crafty and create shit. I would rather be watching the 63 hours of  shit  T.V. programming that I have DVR'ed but noooo. This is also time that I should be spending getting my workout on so I can get hot again. But I dont. So basically I have no excuse as to why I can physically see myself getting fatter every friggin day. Well no excuse other than I am lazy.
Now onto the fun stuff. I have been rather crafty as of late and have been making alot of stuff. Hair bows, jewelry clothing etc for little girls and babies. It is a lot of fun! I have great prices and I put a lot of work into everything I sell. Come take a look and give it a like :)
Until next time..........

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Im baacckk!!!!

I cannot remember what was going on the last time I posted an entry but I am pretty sure that things are going alot better than they were. I was slightly bitchy back then and slightly more negative. I am  now a new to college student, not in couples therapy anymore and everything else is pretty much falling into place. Not only am I starting school but I have started a little business on the side. Ive gotten all creative I guess and started making bows, jewelry and little girls and infant clothing etc. and I must say that I am pretty damn good at it. I will be posting some pics pretty soon of the things I have been making. I didnt have alot to say today but it feels good to write again.
Until next time......

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

How is a person supposed to think let alone create with the non stop banging!!!!!

  To explain my weird ass post title, I am having my roof replaced and the noise is about to drive me more crazy than I already am. My yard looks like a fucking tornado zipped through it and there's about one guy short of making a new Menudo group on my roof. Lord I will be glad when this is done today. I haven't posted on here since June and it seems like a year ago. I have been in a funk and feeling less than inspired to spew any of my normal bullshit so I decided to take a break from the blogging world. I finally decided to drag my ass to the computer and catch up on all the blogs I follow and make an attempt at completing a new post. I am in all my boring, self wallowing, bitchy glory. Whoopedy doo.

  So my summer was extremely uneventful as if I thought it would not be. I spent my days refereeing my heathens, cleaning up after them and feeding their faces day in and day out. I never realized how much these damn kids can consume in a 24 hour period. Its absolutely astounding. I'm quite surprised that they aren't as big around as they are tall, very surprised. It was these past few months of being home 24/7 with the heathens that made it crystal clear as to why I got the surgery to ensure that I would not spew forth any more children from my girly bits. I have been depressed about it for over three years and it only took three short months to make me feel great about the decision to do it. Babies are so sweet but toddlers and elementary aged children are definitely not! Especially when they try to kill each other on a daily basis. Oh how I long for the times before they could walk and talk.

  As if the two small crazy people already living in our house weren't enough, we now we have a three month old Blue and Gold Macaw named Nico. He is learning to talk and is quite the little character. He hears me tell the kids no so often that he has picked that up as well. He can say six words already and I was informed that he can learn up to 300-400. I cant even begin to imagine what he is going to learn in this house. He is going to be a feathered cussing machine. He is very mischievous and gets into trouble on the reg. My husband has him so spoiled already. God hes such a little shit.

Now on to more boring topics. As I stated above I have been in a wicked nasty funk lately. I don't know why or where the fuck it came from. It just appeared and I do not like. I just have no motivation to do shit period. I mean I used to get up and fix my hair, put on something cute in attempts to look moderately hot which I achieved quite well. Now I'm just in a state of don't give a shit. My hair doesn't sway freely it stays in a pony tail and to be honest, I look a hot mess and it sucks ass. If I am aware of it I'm sure my husband is none too pleased as well. I mean I probably would be a little taken aback if he was to walk around everyday looking like a walking pile of shit. So I don't fault him for it.

I have decided that I am starting to feel suffocated sitting at home all the time. Normal people would just take a girls night out or something like that but I am at a point in my life where the number of girl friends that I have is almost non existent. I don't know about anyone else but I feel as if I am completely losing myself. I'm a wife and mom but there's no me anymore. Beyond taking heathen #1 to school and back, caring for heathen #2 all day, going to the grocery store, cooking and housework I have no life in regards to myself anymore and it finally hit me and it is absofuckinglutely sucky. The even shittier part about it is, theres not a damn thing I can do about it. On one hand I feel half empty because of it and on the other hand I feel like a selfish pos for thinking that my children aren't enough to keep me happy, fulfilled or however you might explain that. I love staying home with my kids but I also enjoy talking to people, socializing etc. I was born that way and know no different. It is in my make up and for me not to be able to express myself or have a little fun now and then is quite foreign to a person with my personality type. I can go a whole week without talking to a single person other than my husband, kids and father in law. Yeah its that bad. I now talk to the damn bird and surprisingly enough he talks back.

My only me joy, not mom or wife joy is after the kids go to bed and I get to watch whatever bullshit I have recorded on the DVR. Sounds pretty pathetic huh? Well it feels even more pathetic. And to make all things more shitty....The Cowboys have been losing! That also makes me a feel like a walking pile of shit. I hate when they disappoint me. I am super excited that the Rangers have been kicking the shit out of the Yankees though. That we all should be thankful for.

What a light and lovely post today huh?
Until next time :)

Friday, July 16, 2010

A months worth of shit

 So I just realized that I haven't posted in over a month! I don't have a super good reason as to why I haven't....just haven't. The past month has been filled with non stop kiddo chaos, marriage counseling, the countdown to the Eclipse premier, turning 30 and pure boredom to be quite honest. Sounds exciting huh? Not really. This past month has contained a very high level of suck but Ill tell you about it anyways because that's how I roll.

 So if you read this blog on the reg you know I'm a happy on the verge of being nuttier than a squirrel turd   stay at home mom of two. So far this summer my heathens have brought on a horrible bout of anxiety in me that to be quite honest, I could do without. My son is bored 24 hours a day and my three year old diva has multiple personalities. Yes I am convinced of this even without a professional diagnosis. I am also convinced that she is the loudest child on the planet. I am basically addicted to Extra Strength Excedrin as of late. My daughter has turned into Satan's spawn in a matter of weeks. Just the other day her brother didn't want to play with her and instead of just walking away she tells him " yeah well your irsitating me and you were born out of moms butt when she crapped so I don't want to play with you either turdhead!" Just when I think things couldn't get more ridiculous in my home, this fucking gem lands in my lap, you just cant make this kind of shit up. What three year old thinks of a dis like that? Now my son loves playing Call of Duty MW2 on the xbox with his friend and Ive gotta tell ya, I just cant get enough of hearing " hey I shot you right in the face and you didn't die? No freaking way dude!" Yeah you heard me right. I hear that quite often in my home during the day when he is allowed to play. It does give me a kind of warm and fuzzy feeling inside to know that my oldest child could fend off a swarm of zombies, gain skill points at most head shots or annihilate enemy troops at a moments notice. Hey, I know I'm not winning any mother of the year awards any time soon. So sue me, he plays some Call of Duty. I cant get mad at him though because I do too lol. My dh, friends and I wait until the kiddos go to sleep and play it together. My name on xbox live is, wait for it...........Twird. You know, Twilight Nerd :)And my motto is....I like to shoot boys! Hey I need some entertainment in my life right? I am also going to disown my younger brother due to Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2. He kicks my ass every time we play and Ive gotta admit, I do not care for it a bit. Hes in one word....a Jackass. If any women on here are interested in him, Id appreciate getting him the hell out of my house.

 And to top all of that off we finished our last counseling session last Thursday and I really think we could benefit from about 100 more sessions minimum. I have just realized that men are bred and born to be complete assholes. Period! When the therapist tells him he was wrong about something or he shouldn't have done something he agrees with her but when I tell him the same thing......its Bullshit. Every time we have these little sessions I am at a very high level of pisstivity because it could have saved us a lot of time if he would just listen to me. Who would have thought that I might actually have something smart to say every now and then. You wouldn't know it by reading this blog but I consider myself slightly intelligent at times.

  Now on to some Twilight shit. I had been eagerly awaiting the opening of The Twilight Sagas next gem, Eclipse. And it came,I saw, and it was great! In my humble opinion it was the best so far. My 13 year old niece and I waited for a long time at the movie theatre to see the midnight viewing in the rain I will add and it was so freaking worth it. I am going to have myself put into a medically induced coma until Breaking Dawn comes out in 2011. I hope all of you don't miss me too much until then because I'm going to quickly get started on this. The James Dean like vampire, super hot and beefed up warewolf....OMG! I will admit that I feel like a female perv for thinking that Taylor Lautner is the hottest thing on two legs since hes only 18. A fucking cougar I tell ya but at least I wasn't the only one that gasped during the first shirtless scene in the movie. Every old ass woman in the place clapped. Such a double standard I tell ya and it kinda makes me feel shitty but oh well. If men were going nutso over a 18 year old girl in a movie, women everywhere would freak the fuck out. True Story!

  Now on to the last topic of the day. My shitty birthday. I turned the BIG 30! Yeppers I'm officially an old bitch now. Not happy about it either. My ma came over at the buttcrack of dawn and tastefully decorated my car and yard letting all my neighbors know how fucking old I am. Fanfuckingtastic I tell ya. I have since decided that I need to really get started on this getting my girlish figure back. Oh shit that will be for another post.

Until next time.......

Friday, June 4, 2010

Holy crap the day has come!!!

Ok so I know it has been ages since I have posted anything on here but today I had a little something to write about. Not too exciting but something none the less. Today my oldest heathen had his last day of school and is now embracing the "oh my god summer is really freaking here " emotions. Yeah he said freakin, so sue me. I hate to admit it but as he skipped his jolly ass to the car today after school let out I couldnt help but think.......oh shit!

As most of you who read my blog on the reg already know I am a stay at home mom of two. My eight year old son and three year old monkey, I mean daughter :) I also have the pleasure of watching another three year old during the day as well. Sounds like fun huh? No maam. I am literally on the brink of insanity every single day. So........ now due to the fact that summer is here I will be adding my oldest to the daily mix of things. Oh holy mother of Mary this is going to make for some interesting blog posts in the coming months as well as possibly finally pushing me over the edge. I will now be responsible for caring for seven breathing creatures during the day not including myself. Lets go through the line up here, My son, daughter, the two little boys I will be watching, our english bulldog puppy, my daughters kitten Cinderella and our goldfish Nemo. So basically I have become a zoo keeper minus the non stylish tan outfits.

Oh what a summer it shall be........

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Being a mother

  I have not been posting near as often as I used to and it is a little upsetting since I get so much joy from it. However one thing that I get indescribable amounts of joy from is my children and last night as I was putting my three year old to bed it hit me like a ton of bricks, she has grown up so much and so fast that I didn't even realize it. It truly hit me that my children are growing up. My son is going to second grade next year and is HUGE and every time I try to remember him as a baby it seems as if the memories move farther and farther away from me. When I stop and think about my children and when they were born it shoots a paralyzing amount of pain through me because those are times I can never get back. Times that were absolutely the most dear to me that I wish I could relive them a billion times over. I never in my life imagined that loving someone could be so painful. Not painful in a bad way but a good pain. Like the feeling that your heart is so full it could burst. Yeah, that kind of pain.

 When I think about the memories that are most precious to me I think of the first time I saw an ultrasound picture of my babies and how excited I was to meet them and thinking how wonderful they were going to be and to feel them grow was such an amazing feeling. There has never been a moment in my life that has left a mark on my heart like the feeling I had when my husband handed me our babies for the first time or the first night at home with them by myself and just remembering looking at them for hours with the most permanent smile on my face or touching their baby soft skin or the smell, the smell of a newborn is forever etched in my brain. Hearing the first cries and the first outing to show them off to anyone that would look. And the horrible fear that pulsated through me every time they were sick or rushed to an emergency room. The frightening panic and anger that ran through me as I lashed out at the person who caused my child pain and a terrifying ambulance ride after an avoidable car crash just because he wanted to drive fast. The feeling of loss of control of the situation and not knowing if the most precious part of my life was going to be OK. And wanting to cause unspeakable amounts of pain to the person responsible if something had happened. At that moment you realize that your child is the most precious thing on this planet and you will happily do anything to protect them with every part of you. That is a mother. Being a mother is the most difficult and fulfilling job there is, Period! They test us, push us to our limits of insanity, wow us and fill our hearts with unmeasured amounts of love and joy.

 When I became a mother it made me realize why my mother would be in hysterics when I would arrive home late after curfew or didn't call when I was out. At the time I didn't understand what the big deal was but I realize it was because the one thing that she was designed to protect was out of sight and nowhere to be found until I pranced my jolly ass in the front door and in shock as to why I would be in such trouble. She was never mad, just worried and what I mistook as anger was in one word....fear. Sorry mom, I understand now :)

 Mothers Day is almost here and it is a day that I really enjoy. Not just for myself but for my mother, grandmothers and every other mother out there. As I think about how fast the time is passing it makes me realize how precious time really is. How we only get such a small amount of it with these special little people and most of the time we take it for granted. Our daily struggles, stress, work, money and relationships always seem to find a way of pulling us away from what is truly the most important things that life has given us. Not the 9-5 jobs we hurry to everyday, the money that we fight over and all the other really non important things that have become so important to us all. I realized that every time I tell the kids I'm too busy to play or read a book or go to the park that I am wasting precious time. Time that I will NEVER get back and neither will my children. Things that are non important to us, mean the world to our children and always will. 

   I will never have to question why I was put on this earth because the moment I became a mom to my children I knew why I was here. To raise, love and cherish two of the most beautiful people ever created. They love us unconditionally with all of our faults no matter how big they are and all they want in return, is the same. For some reason I was picked to be the mom to two of the most amazing kids and going forward I make the choice not to waste any more time and I hope none of you do either. I hope all of you have a wonderful mothers day. I know I will :)

Until next time.......